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[ISBW] Evil Mur AMA (+transcript)

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Mur

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S18 Ep55

Back to Basics

Good News Good News

Main Topic: Back to Basics: Ask Me Anything, featuring Evil Mur

  • Evil Mur regales the audience with proclamations of self-promotion and awesome writerly advice that you should do everything you can to emulate in order to create your Best Ever Author Life.
  • Do not listen to Evil Mur. Just, don’t.

Links

Twitch schedule for August:

  • Monday 12pm: Ditch Diggers
  • Rest of month CANCELED for WorldCon! See you in September! (And wish me luck at the Hugos!)

Transcript
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SUMMARY KEYWORDS
write, book, editors, Mur, Premee, evil, people, rejections, muse, agent, character, questions, famous author, good, talk, plagiarism, con, listen, motivate, author

00:01

We have done our 12 episodes of getting back to basics and now it’s time for return of Evil Mur. Do not listen to evil Mur. It’s I Should Be Writing season 18 Episode 55.

More after the cut!

Hi there, welcome to I Should Be Writing. This is the podcast for wanna-be fiction writers and it tells the absolute truth with absolutely no questions involved. Although I did say AMA, I don’t want you to ask me anything because you should just take in my knowledge and know, you will know that this is the proper way to write the proper way to submit the proper way to deal with other writers and your writing career here. And I should be writing which is the best writing podcast out there. It’s the longest running–it was actually the first podcast and I invented podcasting. So go me. You’re welcome. I like to start the show to talk about how awesome I am. Yesterday I wrote a short story. That part is true. And did that I designed a game from beginning to end. Or at least I tried. And that’s really all that matters. And that you believe me.

02:02

So yeah, I’ve been working on a game from beginning to and starting at about eight o’clock this morning. Just working on that over and over and over and over again. It’s almost done. I’ll be uploading it to drive thru RPG after the stream. What else is going on? World con is coming up. I am the guest of honor. I’ll be there in Chicago. I’m arriving on Monday and a gilded chariot. Okay, I can’t lie this entire episode—Worldcon’s coming up. Labor Day weekend starting September 1. I will be there on September 1. I’ll be doing a reading from Station Eternity. Which is my new future Hugo winning novel. I’ll be doing that reading on Thursday night. So if you’re there drop by– and of course my phone’s ringing. Because why wouldn’t it everybody wants to talk to me. I’m evil Mur. So I’m not back to the good part of the show. I like to talk about good news. And I like to record all of your rejections because that makes me feel better as a writer. So, um, if anybody has any rejections to give me to pump up my ego in thinking that I’m better than you let me know. We’ve got an email from Mark, who has tallied all of his rejections for the past several months. And so Mark is sending us 56 rejections which should update now? Yes, it does. And again, it’s really hard for me to be evil during this because that’s just amazing. Well done, Mark. Very proud of you. Very happy that you’re able to keep up the good fight because it’s not easy. And that’s why we celebrate rejections. So congratulations. So, Team rejection count is up to 313. If you guys have anything else you want me to add to it. Then either email me at mightymur@gmail.com Or tell me in chat. I also didn’t say that we livestream this show Tuesday, Thursday 3pm. Eastern time at twitch.tv/mightymur.

I really tried to do a live version and a non live version. And I failed. It was bad I even got like messed up with my timing and my numbering and my timing. And it was just it was anxiety attack is a little much for what I was experiencing. But it wasn’t good. Wasn’t a good feeling. And I feel bad because somebody has actually thanked me for going back to that pattern. And I wish I could keep it up and I can’t. So I apologize for that. But some are and I are trying to make the show as good as we can with what we have.

Mustaches are tickle my nose. If you’re not watching this, I am wearing a mustache. So yeah, Summer and I tried to make the show as good as we can and as enjoyable as we can if you’re live or if you’re listening later in the podcast feed. So what are we talking about today, we went back to basics for the past 12 episodes. And we talked about character we talked about tools you need, we talked about rules to follow. But really, what you need to do is find one person to listen to, and that should be me. And take everything they say as gospel because no one learns nobody not mean like experts, US experts. We don’t learn either. It’s it we’re done learning, which is why we teach. And so when we teach, everything we say is true. So there’s no reason to ever change that. So once you get your wisdom from me, you will have it forever. And you can always create awesome stuff based on my wisdom. Tweaking, it will not work, going a different way will not work. Nothing else will work.

07:14

But if you find somebody else who sounds like they know what they’re talking about, and they do a better job of it than I do, then listen to them, or give me their home address and I will fight them. Because also the person who can win a fight is the one you should be listening to. That is how justice is done. Premee would like even more to talk about how a good Mur’s book made her cry on Twitter. Well, here’s the deal. I said something about how when you write or good Mur said something about when you write, essentially, the context was a lot of people say if they just had time, they could start a writing career, they could start writing that book that’s always been on their mind. They want to take a sabbatical from work and go right. And speaking as somebody who’s been at home writing with the luxury, I admit luxury and privilege of being at home writing full time. For years and years and years, I can tell you that if you’re not writing when you have 30 minutes free, you’re not going to write when you have eight, eight hours free, because whatever you have that takes precedent during your free 30 minutes that is going to take precedent during your eight hours. Premee took the part of if you’re not going to write when you have a little bit of time, you’re not going to write when you have a lot of time and said I called her out. And there were lots and lots of animated GIFs saying that Premee was in tears. Premee has written like three fat novels. Premee’s got literally- this is not an exaggeration- 73 million novellas. 72 million of those have won Awards and the other million are nominated for awards. So the fact that Premee is going to cry because I say you’re not writing enough. Come on Premee come on Premee.

09:47

We need a bookshelf cam indeed. I am actually considering I got a couple of really cool neon signs for my birthday. And I’m considering turning my desk Round getting rid of the green screen and letting y’all see the books behind me and the neat signs and stuff. But that, that that calls requires a lot of movements of things and unhooking of wires. And that’s absolutely terrifying, frankly. So we’ll see. We shall see. We have some questions because it is an AMA.

Question for evil Mur, what is the best tool to use to motivate your main character now, when you’re using things to motivate your main, when you’re writing any of your characters, any of them whether they’re just like you or a different race, a different gender, a different religion? Always ask yourself, what would I do in that situation? And if you would be motivated by an ice cream sundae, because I would be which is why all of my characters have ice cream sundae somewhere in the book, then, right? The motivation being an ice cream sundae. If you just got your heart broken, tried to put romance in your book takes the romance out of your book, because you clearly would not fall in love right now. Because right now sucks because you just got your heart broken. You need to take your current life and map it on to each character. And that will show you what motivates them I mean, it’s not obvious how many editing passes do you do on your work even more editing passes? Editing passes are for amateurs. Ask that lady in Scotland or Stephen King. You write the book you turn the book in, you collect the money, and oh, the dump trucks full of money that they will back up to your house once editor start getting their dirty little fingers on your manuscript. Boy howdy.

12:13

Evil Mur, what do I do if I lose inspiration for a project when you quit the project? You can’t write without inspiration. Everybody knows that. I mean, it’s not like this is a job. This is art. And we will do it as art. And we can only create art when we’re inspired. So you lose inspiration for the project you’re working on. Clearly, it’s your subconscious saying, This is not a good thing. We should not do it. Let’s do something else. And follow that gut feeling. You should really always follow your instincts when you’re writing.

12:50

Evil Mur, should I reply to a rejection email for a story and point out to them why they’re wrong? Indeed, always. That’s an excellent question, Daniel. And I’m really glad you asked it because as I said, editors like to get their grubby fingers in things and sometimes their grubby fingers hit the rejection button when they really meant to hit the acceptance button. And you can, you know, take care of yourself. And just make sure that you get that sale by telling them clearly you’ve made a mistake. I understand how things are difficult. So, with the rejection button in this acceptance button right beside each other, you hit the wrong one. But tell them that you’re an understanding author

13:49

Evil Mur should probably have very strong opinions on the pronunciation of G if yes, but she doesn’t care. She doesn’t care. But she does talk about herself in the third person. I’m checking for more questions. You actually heard that advice from a guy who wrote a book about writing multiple books a year guy writes a couple of 1000 words a day and edits none of it. artistic vision man. Your subconscious knows where it wants to go. Let it give it the wheel.

14:37

Evil Mur: How can I tell my agent to go back to editors and ask for way more monies? Well, the first thing you do is you tell them you tell the agent to tell the editors that you have turned into a white dude that just happened that will automatically get you to an another echelon of income. The second thing to do is remind them that $100,000 is a small advance it this is quoted from the CEO of Penguin Random House so clearly, they know what they’re talking about $100,000 a small event so all you have to do is tell your agent to go to the editor and ask for a small advance that’s what I’m planning on doing should I write all my books like government program application guides I don’t even know what they are but you gotta listen to your muse Shona. You listen to the muse, and you will know what to write in. If your muse says government application, guides, government program application guide, then you have your way lit the Muses there. The Muse has the lantern. Listen to the muse. She’s never ever wrong.

Should I count my chickens before they hatch? Of course? Ah, what if I’m already a white Dude, Daniel, that’s a brilliant question, you have to become more of a white dude. I recommend saying bro a lot. That might get you there.

What should I tell BETA readers who say my plot doesn’t make sense? That is when you stand on the table. And if this is like a virtual beta reader, you have to go to their house and stand on the table. wear a mask, I think you can afford them that kind of consideration because you’re going to go and you’re going to stand on their table, and you’re going to tell them they’re wrong. It is that action of standing on the table that will get them to pay attention to you and realize the error of their ways. This also works on editors if you can find their home addresses.

16:55

Can I learn how to write goodly? Or if I just don’t have the talent? Am I out of luck? Yeah, I think you can learn. But the best way to do it is to get plot into your head as fast as possible. And the way to do that is to not read it all. But to watch television and movies. Because television and movies have plots and characters. And by that storytelling across media is you know it’s all comparing apples to apples to apples. It’s all the same thing. So you can intake more to learn with a two hour movie than a 300,000 word book.

17:39

Well Starvin, that’s a big question. I have a great idea for a story but my muse is telling me to play video games. How much should I sell the idea for Okay, so the first thing you need to do is go on you have to play something online. The Overwatch fortnight I don’t know what else are the kids playing where you can chat and yell obscenities at people, any of those games, and you need to find somebody and so as you’re playing with someone you need to find a writer and sell them your idea. And I think that’s the fastest way to do it. Definitely. Even more what should I do if I realize I made a big mistake and an early chapter that completely ruins the continuity in the later chapters. Go back and fix it immediately. In fact, start the book over from word one. And make sure that everything lines up perfectly continuity wise. If you ever make a mistake, you have to go back to square one. Because only then will you know when you hit the end of your book. You’ll know that you are the book is perfect under Pope see you don’t even need me you’re already there. If you’re if you’re already a white dude, be sure to become a university professor who has an affair with a student so you can write a biography and sell it. That is brilliant. I should be learning from you. Because that is clearly awesome. Does the standing of tables approach work at cons with potential edge agents and editors? Um, it does it really it’s really good at cons because if you’re at a panel, you can stand on the table and have all of the agents and editors and authors on the panel be at the same table. So you’re like making your impression multiple times. It’s really efficient actually.

What’s the best wording if I want to email a famous author to ask them to edit my draft novel for free? Okay, the best wording is apt to famous author this good on Twitter at famous author, check out my new book and send me any comments that you might have, or send it on to your agent. But you know, those famous authors like to pretend that they’re busy. So what you want to do is you want to copy that message and then send it to another username, over and over and over and over and over again. Because that will ensure that your message gets out to as many people as possible. And they’ll all feel special because you put their username in the very beginning. So that is how you spread the word. That is how you get a beta beta read draft comment thing, because they’ll be knowing that you you had the confidence to contact them because not a lot of people do. People are afraid to talk to celebrities Trust me, I know.

If I write on TV with a sharpie, does that count as a sitcom screenplay? That is a good question. I would say yes, except it’s, it’s hard to mail your TV to somebody. So I’m have to think on that it’s innovative. But not sure if it’ll work? How do I develop a brand as a writer? You know, I think your brand needs to be no brand. I think you need to talk on as many social media platforms as you can, about as many things as you can. One really good thing to do is to go to other people’s conversations, and reply, and insert yourself. Even if you don’t know anything, if someone says, Hey, Twitter, does anybody know the bus schedule in Chicago? You can write back? No, I don’t. And people will know that you listened and heard them and they’ll appreciate that. And that will be your brand that you are everywhere with opinions on everything. And then they’ll always know that if they need someone to write about the bus schedule in Chicago, you don’t know about it, but you care.

22:25

What do I do if someone writes a book like the one I’m working on? Sue? Sue them? Absolutely. Get yourself an entertainment lawyer and goes through their asses. You don’t need like proof just threaten them with a law that usually makes for like big settlement money. Sue the hell out of them. Even more you are so evil, I can practically see lines of evilness radiating off your head Nate I didn’t put that effect in there. Let’s just say it’s already happening.

If a famous author refuses to provide a blurb for my book How long do I wait to flame them on Twitter Hmm that you know it’s it’s really speaks a lot that you want to wait and I think my first inclination would be to to flame them immediately. But I think you should wait until your book comes out and then as part of your promotion crap on the other author for not blurbing it I think that will get you the most attention at the best time.

It’s December the first I just finished my NaNoWriMo book. What do I do next? Ravens creations you know what to do next! You write the end, even if you’re not done because the agent and editor will be really impressed that you wrote 50,000 words in a month. You write the end and then you mail it off. And then you treat yourself to something nice. I’ve heard other riders are not my competition. Is that true? Premium if other riders were not your competition, would they have cage matches at conventions? I don’t think so. The cage matches prove that we are all each other’s competition and I am really looking forward to you know kicking Charlie Jane Anders ass.

(I’m sorry. I can’t do it. I love Charlie Jane. I have to tell you this. Charlie Jane is amazing. I love her so much. I’m not going to kick her ass even if there were cage matches at cons had to break character sorry.)

24:40

Where should I submit my 100,000 word picture book? Wow, I don’t know. But that really sounds like it needs to be in a good new genre. I’d say start with children’s book publishers because they don’t nearly have enough to read.

25:02

From the author has been blocked by Hugo award winning authors would love that Daniel I love that as a is a that’s that’s something to put on your your book cover and your business card. Aren’t all others who are good required to have mustaches? No Jasmine. It’s the evil ones that have mustaches. That’s how you can tell us apart.

25:26

We learned it from Star Trek.

How should I prepare for my first convention cage match?

25:33

um, I’d say go around and threaten people in your neighborhood. I’d say that would be the best way to get some practice. You could join a gym but you know those boxing gyms they have. They have rules. They don’t like fight on the street like us. They’ve got rules about you know, eye gouging and wearing protective gear.

25:56

No, just go around your neighborhood and threaten people.

No one in my workshop group liked my story. How should I respond? Um, gosh, Kristianwriting, there’s so many things you could do. One, ragequit that is a good one. Flipping the tables, setting something on fire. Flaming everybody publicly.

26:17

That’s a good way to do it. You could stay in the workshop. Try to take it over and create new rules about how everyone knows that you are infallible. Try to stay in the workshop and flame everybody then you get the best of all the worlds. So you know you have many options.

How much should I pay people to publish my book as much money as you have? Because it is worth everything. You have to be a published author because when you pay all your money to be a published author, that means you’ll sell more books. And you’ll get more money.

What’s the one and only proper writing software to use and can I write a book if I use anything else? Premee, if you’re not writing a book with a $4,000 fountain pen, I don’t want to talk to you. And you know which pen I’m talking about. If you’re not doing that it’s not worth it. Don’t be a writer. You’re not you’re not there even more.

Is plagiarism. really that bad? Of course it isn’t. Everyone says that we’re just going off of a handful of plots. That’s obviously plagiarism. Right? So no, it’s not that bad. It’s what we’re all doing already.

I don’t even have comedy points on my channel. But UnderPope, if I had them, you’d get one. That was well done. For those of you listening at home, Daniel writes ‘evil MUR, is plagiarism that bad?” and Underpope writes “evil mur, is plagiarism really that bad?

28:06

So I’ll hit the yay button for that that.

Should I blame my beta readers? When they fix my stuff and tell me things are wrong? Well, yeah, definitely.

28:23

I mean, when you finish a book, you’re finished. Finished. That’s what finished means. That’s what the end means. It means you’re done writing so why anybody would tell you you’ve done anything wrong. That just means it’s not for them. If I can’t write 1000s of words every day should I give up writing? Um, definitely only people who have the time and health to write 1000s of words a day will be writers you you have to no exceptions. Checks nodes depends on other six depend on others to succeed and then step on them on the way up indeed broken symmetry. That’s exactly what you do. Is there a union for evil authors? Yes. But they told me to keep you out. Unfortunately. They’re evil. You see. What if I disagree with any of my editors comments, you need to send the manuscript back with green pen. Writing stet dammit, or harder, harsher words all over it. And don’t like make neat comments in a Word doc we’re talking you if they didn’t send you a physical copy, you need to print it out and then write all over it steps debts, debts, debts debt. I actually was thinking about getting STET tattooed on my hands, but I don’t know what I would tattoo on the other one.

What do I do if I can’t find an agent who will accept my work? Become an agent cut out the middleman become an agent and then as an agent send your work to editors! Come on guys, you know the answers to this! You guys are asking me simple questions!

Any advice on created controversy around myself to help raise awareness of my brand? Oh yes you need to write some offend as many people as possible because as The Unsinkable Molly Brown said there’s no such the only thing worse about people talking about you as people not talking about you or something like that. I think it was her; might have been Chandler Bing, I’m not sure.

All the characters in my book must be carbon copies of me and my pets with no diversity? Of course, that’s how you write you write what you know, you know how to be used, every character should be you. It looks like I’ve caught up with all the questions that we’re going to end it here for the feed. If you have any questions for evil Mur or good Mur, let me know. Just tell me hear your talk. Well, if you if you email me, you’ll be talking to good lawyer. Unless you want an Evil Mur response.

mightymur@ gmail.com is where to email that and you can find me murverse.com I should be writing and ditch diggers are findable on any podcatcher that you like, and I’m at twitch.tv/mightymur, when I livestream.

I’m going to be taking a couple of episodes off so I can prepare to get my kid to school and go to Worldcon. I’ll be back in September. And if you’re going to Worldcon dropped by one of my panels or just come say hi, I’ll be looking forward to seeing people. Yeah, you can find me on Twitter by mightymur, Twitch mightymur. Those that’s where I’m most active.

So I’m going to head on to the bar con. If you want to hear the rest of the bar con, which is where I chat more with the people in the chat, either come to come to a live stream, or you can support the Patreon which I forgot to mention at patreon.com/mightymur and you’ll get all of these episodes and you’ll get them early and a variety of other shiny shiny things.

So thank you for listening and see you next time until then you should be writing.

and don’t listen to evil Mur.

And remember, we can’t do this without you. Thanks for your support.

I Should Be Writing credits: production by Summer Brooks, theme song byJohn Anealio,
art by Numbers Ninja, site design by Clockpunk Studio and hosted by Libsyn (affiliate link) (or you can get it via Patreon).
August 18, 2022 | Season 18 Ep 55 | murverse.com
“Evil Mur AMA” by Mur Lafferty
is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0