Archive for Personal

Personal, Travel

So, Worldcon. That was cool. A bit.

I got back from WorldCon last night and spent today processing and napping.

In case you hadn’t heard, I won the John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer of 2012. I mean, HOLY CRAPBASKETS. I’m still stunned. As Pat Cadigan keeps saying about her Hugo, “I keep waiting to wake up.”

lake_campbell
Jay Lake, me, and Jay’s daughter – Photo © 2013 James J. Seals, all rights reserved. Reproduced with permission.

The very cool thing you’re not seeing here is we were in front of a wall of photographers, and Jay’s daughter was directing the whole thing. “OK, let’s focus left…” (wait for photos) “Now center…” (wait for photos) “Now right.” She was IN CONTROL. It was awesome. She is such an amazing young woman and Jay should be very proud.

But I’ll get to more Hugo/Campbell details in a moment.

I stopped doing con writeups years ago, as I would always worry I would forget something. I’m going to give some highlights, but if I forget someone, I’m truly sorry.

On Wednesday, I drank with Chuck Wendig because drinking in the afternoon is either sad or awesome, depending on where, why, and with whom you do it. And I figured a hotel, being at a con, and CHUCK was good enough. Later that night we got Adam Christopher and his oh so cool wife Sandra and my friends John Cmar and Laura Burns and treked down the very warm street to a pub where we ate under the scary severed head of a buffalo and I drank a tasty Hemingway cocktail.

Thursday the con started in full force, and I got to be part of Just A Minute, an English game show that Paul Cornell brings to cons. You must talk for a minute on a topic, without repetition, hesitation, or deviation. If someone catches you in this, they can challenge. It gets silly and cutthroat at times. I was in the competition with Connie Willis, Emma Newman, and Gary K. Wolfe. It was amazingly stressful and fun, and it was awesome to sit beside my idol, Connie.

I had a great autographing – there was a line of like four people at one point! That’s great for me! – and before that got to have lunch with my mentor and friend, Jim Kelly. Later that night, I was in the weird position of all of my friends were scattered, and I was wondering what to do with myself, and SFWA President Steven Gould and his wife, writer Laura Mixon, my old Viable Paradise instructors, invited me to dinner. It was great to catch up with them. I fear I didn’t call Steve “El Presidente” enough, though.

Jim got in that night. Yay husband!

Saturday night my editor, Devi, took me and Jim out to dinner, and then we hit the Drinks with Authors party late. It turned out that we missed a lot of the party, but the plus side was that the overcrowded bar group had thinned and we had a nice time. I discovered that ALL of the Campbell nominees were there, and we quickly gathered and bonded. Stina Leicht and I already knew each other from last year’s Campbell nomination, and Chuck and I knew each other from before, but I hadn’t met Max Gladstone and his awesome wife Steph yet. So we bonded and formed Team Tiara.

The other nominees are awesome people. The next day, Max, Steph, and I went shopping for tiaras to form Team Tiara for real, and we found some nice ones at the mall. We brought them to the Campbell panel, which included Ben Bova, the creator of the Campbell Award. Ben wore his tiara with good humor. (We got him an understated one, you can barely see it in the weird lighting below.)

Team Tiara! Max Gladstone, Stina Leicht, me, Chuck Wendig, and Ben Bova - Photo by Karen Bovenmeyer
Team Tiara! Max Gladstone, Stina Leicht, me, Chuck Wendig, and Ben Bova – Photo by Karen Bovenmeyer

It’s hard to compare the two years of Campbell nominations without making one sound better than the other, but the experience was better this time around. And I know that is stupid-tasting, because duh, I won, but it goes beyond that. Last year, Karen Lord didn’t make the con, E. Lily Yu (the much-deserving winner) arrived late to the convention, and I never actually met Brad Torgersen. (NOTE- I am NOT putting any of them down for this, I’m just saying this was how circumstances worked out.) This left Stina and me, and we bonded, but it felt more like a friendship (this is NOT bad, obviously, but I’m speaking of bonding as a group of new writers who have the crazy honor of being told they have amazing potential). This year, we missed Zen Cho, but everyone else were there, and we all got along great. We hung out at the before party, all sat together during the ceremonies, and exchanged much hugs after. These are amazing writers, each one, and I know Max will be on the ballot again next year.

The downsides of the con were the kaffeklatch and my reading. The kaffeklatch had only four people (one of them a friend, John Shade, a writer at Stonecoast) and was somewhat awkward. I’ve had better kaffeklatches as an unpublished writer. Weird. Then my reading, which was a clusterfuck of non-euclidian design. I thought I knew where room was, and I was wrong. No one could give me satisfactory directions, and it turned out the signing rooms were in a separate building that had about 80% of the outside doors locked. (I of course didn’t try the 20% that were open) The fans were very, very kind that they only got 15 minutes of reading, and haphazard and stressed reading at that. Mortified.

So, the Hugo awards! I was terrified I wouldn’t have enough time, as the Campbell panel was at 5 and the reception started at 6. I ran back to the room, got showered and started getting my girl on. I managed not to mess up my hair, and the only makeup problem was learning that liquid eyeliner is proof that Satan exists and he hates women. Once I got it out of my eye and threw the rest of the shit away, things were smooth sailing.

When I won, I was stunned and shaking (video, about 5 min in), and I can’t decide if being caught in a bear hug by Chris Garcia helped or hurt my composure. 😀 (I’m kidding, Chris hugs are one of the best things about WorldCon.) When I got on stage, a beaming Lake child (Jay calls her The Child) held the tiara, put it on my head, and hugged me and told me it looked wonderful. I had never met her before but she was so welcoming and she looked so thrilled to give it to me I nearly teared up right there. During my speech, I managed to a) remind people that we were all winners simply by the fact that through our nominations, we’re all entered into SF history, and nothing ever changes that, b) swear on stage, by quoting Grand Master Connie Willis’s advice not to say “OH SHIT” when you lose, and c) remember to thank my family, mentors, the fans, and my listeners. Sadly, I forgot to thank my editors, namely Jeff VanderMeer, who gave me my first pro sale, and Devi Pillai, my editor at Orbit, who was texting me furiously after the ceremonies to come to the bar and get my champagne.

I meant what I said, that Zen, Stina, Max, and Chuck will be forces to watch in the next several decades. I can’t wait to see what else TEAM TIARA comes up with.

I was quite happy with the Hugo awards, including the podcast Writing Excuses for Best Related Work, never-won-a-Hugo-in-decades-of-writing Pat Cadigan for novella, and John Scalzi’s Redshirts for novel. I was super super proud of my friends Patrick Hester (ISBW producer, winning with the staff of SF Signal for fanzine) and Kate Baker (Clarkesworld podcaster, winning semi-pro zine) winning Hugos. I was so happy to see John Scalzi win for Redshirts, for two reasons: 1) the book moved me in many ways- it was a funny romp for the first part, and then the three codas moved me and made me think a lot. and 2) Funny books winning the Hugo is a Good Sign (TM) for my career. The full list of winners is here.

The awards were covered by the New York Times, shockingly enough, and they mentioned me. Whoa.

At the photos after, John Scalzi whacked me in the face with his Hugo, but it was an accident and didn’t leave a mark. Got a good story, anyway. Those things are heavy.

Devi bought a lot more champagne for me than was needed, I think they were on their third bottle when I finally got to the bar. I didn’t drink that much (I know, SHOCKING) but I think i was on an adrenaline high most of the night.

The night was magical, and so so wonderful. Orbit bought a ton of champagne. I hung out with my Stonecoast friends. I was congratulated by the likes of Gail Carriger, Carrie Vaughn, Harry Turtledove, John Scalzi, and Patrick Neilsen Hayden (among many others.) And my sweetie was by my side the whole time, taking pics, giving hugs, and just in general being the best husband in the world.

Since then I’ve gotten tweets, FB messages, and emails that have made me cry with the sentiments involved. This is an overwhelming and amazing time. Paolo Bacigalupi told me that I have to take a few days to enjoy this before delving back into the pits if self loathing. I will do my best.

More pictures!

 

 

Personal

What to do if you need help

We talk on the show about depression and other mental illnesses that damage your health, life, and your writing quality and productivity. I encourage everyone to get help if you think you need it, but I am painfully aware that I’m very lucky that I have health insurance that pays for my doctor and my antidepressants. What do you do if you don’t have that?

Lifehacker recently had a list of how to find someone to talk to when you can’t afford a therapist, and I thought it was so useful that I wanted to guide people there. Please, if you need help, it’s there if you can look for it.

Travel

WorldCon Schedule

It’s one of my favorite times of the year again: WorldCon time! I’m heading out to San Antonio next Wednesday and am leaving on Monday. I’m posting my schedule below. It’s pretty light this year,  but if you don’t catch me on a panel, be assured you can likely find me at the bar most nights. I may also set up an ISBW meetup – also, Magic Spreadsheet creator Tony Pisculli will be there, so anyone who wants to meet the mind behind the spreadsheet, he’ll be around!

I have no kaffeklatch, so if you’re interested in an ISBW meetup, let me know.

  • Just A Minute: Thursday 21:00-22:00
    Paul Cornell (M); Mur Lafferty; Emma Newman; Connie Willis and Gary K. Wolfe
    Paul Cornell brings his live game show back to WorldCon!
  • Autographing: Laura Frankos, James Patrick Kelly, Mur Lafferty, Michael Damian Thomsa: Friday 14:00 – 15:00
  • Reading: Mur Lafferty: Sunday 15:30 – 16:00
  • Click to embiggen
    Click to embiggen
    Drinks with Authors: Saturday 19:00-Late
    Not an official WorldCon event, but a party at a nearby bar with a LOT of authors. I have a dinner planned, so I won’t be there when it starts, but we’ll be dropping by after dinner once everyone is properly liquored up.
  • 40 Years of Campbell Awards: Sunday 17:00 – 18:00
    The Campbell Awards celebrate their 40th anniversary this year. Stina Leicht (M) , Ben Bova , Mur Lafferty , Chuck Wendig , Max Gladstone
  • Hugo Awards Ceremony: Sunday 20:00
    Aside from being nominated for the Campbell (yay!) I’m also liveblogging the awards at CoverItLive! More information about that when I have it.
Travel

Your Role at WorldCon – Bigger Than You Think

tl;dr: Know what you’re paying for when it comes to your WorldCon membership. Scroll to the bullet points. Read the links at the bottom.

WorldCon is two and a half weeks away. I love this con as it contains some of the best networking opportunities I’ve ever experienced, the panels are great, it’s usually smaller and less crazy than other cons (*cough*Dragon*cough*), has the Hugo Award (and Campbell Award, Not A Hugo (TM)) ceremony, and since it moves around yearly, it lets me experience new cities in the world as long as I have the fundage. (more on the “world” thing in a bit.)

WorldCon is expensive. Currently, an attending membership is $240, but it’s cheaper if you buy early. Most cons I attend will comp someone’s badge if they’re going to be on panels, but WorldCon only comps its Guests of Honor. We all pay to go to WorldCon. But many of us do not know what that money gets us. For example, I attended the business meeting for the first time last year – only because friends encouraged me to come help get a YA Hugo on the ballot. After we failed, I talked to other con attendees about my disappointment, and nearly every person – all members of the WSFS – showed confusion about this mysterious meeting that they knew nothing about. A meeting that they had every right to be part of.

Who can blame them? If we hear “business meeting” we’re thinking it involves the Important People Involved With The Con Business. Like the volunteers and the con chair and the treasurer. Not us attendees who are desperately trying to kill a hangover so we can look good for the Hugo Awards, or trying to get up the nerve to meet Elizabeth Bear.

When I found out others were as blind as I had been to all of the benefits of WorldCon membership, I figured I’d write something about it. So, here are convenient bullet points:

What You Can Expect From The WorldCon Membership

  1. You are an official member of the World Science Fiction Society. Cool, huh?
  2. You get to vote for the Hugos. (And the John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer, which is Not A Hugo). For this year, Hugo voting is already over, but it bears mentioning.
  3. You have the right to vote for a future WorldCon location. London is set for 2014, but 2015 bidders are Orlando, Spokane, and Helsinki. Voting costs extra ($40), BUT the money is considered an automatic Supporting membership to that convention, no matter where it is. For example, if you vote for Helsinki, but Orlando gets it, then you have already put $40 toward your Orlando 2015 Attending Membership, or you’ve outright purchased your Supporting Membership. So consider a site bid your down payment for the 2015 WorldCon.
    ** This year is the first time I’ve gotten involved with site selection; I voted for Helsinki because every time WorldCon leaves North America, we yank it back for a few years. That seems unfair, because it is called WorldCon, right? In order, we’ve had Yokohama, Denver, Montreal, Melbourne, Reno, Chicago, San Antonio, London. Aside from being too North America-friendly, this also has a wider effect in that when North America votes on The Important Current SFF (The Hugos), it continues the the USA/Western focus of the genre, which is limiting in the short run and damaging in the long run. If it’s far away and you can’t afford to attend? Sad, but you can still have a Supporting Membership. (Supporting and Attending Membership distinctions and benefits here.)
  4. You can attend and vote in the WorldCon business meeting. This is the biggie. They talk about very important things involving the WorldCon in the future, Hugo categories, site selection, and more. I’m not going to lie to you, it’s called a business meeting for a reason, and if you thought a business meeting with a bunch of SF geeks would be more interesting than your standard business meeting, you’d be wrong. But hell, I’m willing to grow up for a few hours during the WorldCon, because this stuff is important, and my vote matters. On the agenda (so far) this year, we have motions to both add a new Hugo category and kill a few existing categories. There’s also a “don’t let poor people vote” motion up, but I am not sure they’re calling it that. I tend to believe that most people in my generation are eager to see the existing establishment embrace the new storytelling pioneers, and they’re not going to unless we push them. Attend the meeting. Push.
    ** I vetted this post to a friend who asked me to underline two things: that the meetings are indeed incredibly dull, and they are INCREDIBLY important. Read Seanan McGuire’s post about it. Careers can be made or broken with decisions made to create or destroy a Hugo category, and as Cheryl Morgan said, the “No Cheap Votes” motion will keep fans with lower incomes – including many fans who come from poorer countries – from having a say.
    *** I want to quote Scalzi regarding the killing of the fan Hugos here:

    For those asking “yes, but what can I do?” Well, if you’re attending LoneStarCon 3 this year, go to the WSFS Business Meeting (you can!) and vote it down (you can do that, too!). The dates and times of the business meeting will be available in the program when you get there. I believe the first is on Friday at 10am, but these things are fungible, so double check when you arrive. I am not personally arriving until late Friday, so if anyone who is going to that meeting wants to use this piece to bolster their argument if necessary, go right ahead. I also understand at the Friday meeting it can be punted out of further discussion, which would be nice.

    (And yes, I understand that from a certain point of view I’m just trying to use the Internet to logroll you all into voting the way I want. I am the worst person ever.)

    **** And quoting Seanan McGuire:

    Please, if you are attending this year’s Worldcon in San Antonio, Texas, join me and others at the WSFS Business Meeting to help us vote these measures down. The first will be Friday morning at 10am.

    We have the power to keep this from happening. It’s not the power of Grayskull, but I still think it’s pretty damn neat.

    Let’s keep these awards for everybody.

  5. Your involvement with next year’s WorldCon. Possibly the most clever thing in the WSFS membership is the benefit to keep you interested in WorldCon, even if you can’t make it next time. If you have a Supporting or Attending membership in last year’s, this year’s, or next year’s WorldCon, you can nominate for the current Hugo and Campbell Awards. (Example, people who nominated for this year’s Hugos included Supporters/Attendees of ChiCon ’12, LoneStarCon ’13, and LonCon ’14.) So even if you’re not going to London next year, you can still have your opinion on the ballot if you Support/Attend LoneStarCon. And as I said, voting on the site selection automatically gives you a Supporting Membership, no matter where it ends up.

Cons are fun. You can drink with and meet famous authors and editors, and play dress-up and see the SFF Oscars. But a WorldCon membership allows you, whether writer, fan, editor, volunteer, agent, or con planner, to help shape the current and future landscape of WorldCon and the Hugo awards, and, in a ripple effect, SFF as a whole.

Heavy stuff. Hope to see you in San Antonio! And I REALLY hope to see you at the business meeting. We’ll sit together. Put stuff on Twitter. Let’s make our voices heard.

Resources:

Personal

40

Hullo Mur.

Hullo, 40.

You’re looking awfully reserved, Mur. What’s up?

I just feel like it’s a Big Day. And I don’t have a lot planned. Should this be big? I mean, I’m not freaking out over 40, and I’m only comparing it to my pediatrician’s 40th birthday party a little bit.

…you lost me.

Oh, my mom was a nurse, and her boss was my doctor. So I got to be in the exam room with the doc, and then in the break room with the staff. And his 40th birthday party was boob-themed. Boob cake, boob mug, boob buzzer that his 4 year old son kept pushing the nipple to make it go bzzz. It was the 80’s, so it was OK. I felt slightly uncomfortable, but am pretty sure no one is getting me boobs for my birthday.

Boob buzzer?

Totally. Bright red nipple, white boob. BUZZZZZ!

We will move on from this.

Probably for the best.

So what’s going on with you? Most people, when they come to me, have pretty big issues. What’s going on, besides the, ah, boob buzzer?

Well, I’ve achieved things, my “pre-40” bucket list, so to speak. I got a book on the shelves, I became a mom, the marriage is still awesome, and I’ve been nominated for two awards.

Hang on. 39 just passed me a note. “Yes, and please vote for Mur for the Campbell Award, voting closes July 31.“

Seriously, Mur? You need to validate yourself with pleas for award votes? You don’t think your skill is enough to garner said awards? 

I’m learning the balance of publishing and the value of making people aware that a) you’re there, and b) you are nominated. Beyond that, they can vote however they want. I just want them to give me a thought. Or two.

Fuck that. You want the award.

More than I want air, yes. But since I lost it last year, I know I can survive losing it. They apparently don’t take the losers and kill them and pack them in salt to preserve them. This is a relief. And as a good friend recently told me, “we don’t write for that.”

Awards. Not avoiding salt packing. Although I feel like we do that every day. If I saw some asshole coming up the street with a knife in one hand and a box of Morton’s in the other, I’d run like hell.

Also, I’m pretty sure after 40 seconds or so of depriving me of air, if you gave me the choice between Campbell award and air, I’d choose air.

Exaggeration for effect. I get it. So you’re not freaked by me, but you did have a list of things you wanted before you met me. To me, that says I do have some semblance of meaning for you.

Well sure. Humans definitely like the round numbers. Someone doing something for 37 years is impressive, but OMG 40. You get presents at 40 years of doing anything. People expect you to grow up. Be responsible. Stuff. So I’m trying to think of what the next 40 years will hold.

That will bring you up to 80. Dude, she is a SHE WOLF. You do NOT want to meet 80 until you’re ready.

I won’t be ready for another 40 years. But I can handle her when I get there.

So, what now? 39 tells me you’re slightly obsessive and take negative comments to heart too much. You want SO HARD and your defeats are devastating.

Yeah, but I bounce back. I keep going. Can I get props for that?

Mur, 40 year old people don’t say “props.”

FUCK YOU I WILL SAY PROPS IF I WANT. PROPS. PEEPS. STREET CRED.

You’re embarrassing me.

I am tired of embarrassing people. If you can’t figure out what I’m about at this point, then don’t even try. I figure by the time you reach 40, you’re set. You’re done with the maturing, and if changes are going to be made of your personality, it will fucking take the ghost of your dead BFF plus three of his homies to change you. Otherwise, take me as I am.

Ghosts, man.

This is me. I write. I have ambitions. I sometimes stumble and let envy or discouragement stand in my way, but not for long. I say silly things as a joke, and if it doesn’t land, I move on. I’m me, and that’s OK. Mess me up, and we have a problem, apologize and we’re cool. Do you really not want to be my buddy, 40? Cause if you don’t, well. I don’t even know.

I do. I like people who know who they are at this point. Some don’t. Some dude in Canada did a “hey y’all, watch this” move, and got international attention, but he begged for reporters to mention the fact that he ACHIEVED HIS GOAL. Doesn’t matter what the world thinks, as long as his buddies think he’s cool, he’s happy. This dude is 47. 

47 came to me the other day in tears. Yo was saying that said dude’s mother had the luxury of hanging up on him and telling him he was an idiot (not in that order, I guess) but that yo would have to keep nurturing the dude for months. Yo can’t wait till he turns 48 and it’s not yo’s problem anymore.

I promise I will not drink 8 beers and swim to another country. I don’t drink that much beer, and besides, I don’t swim well. Also, fucking stupid thing to do. Also also, “yo?”

Gender neutral pronoun. We’re genderless years, so it’s appropriate. It’s catching on in Baltimore.

Oh. Cool. Didn’t you say 80 is a she-wolf, though?

Shut up. She-wolf is much cooler than “scary anthropomorphic year representing mortality and old people diapers.”

Fair enough.

So the moral of this story is?

You can’t trust the system?

No.

Um. Be confident in who I am?

Bingo.

—

PS- It’s also Matt Fn Wallace’s birthday. Go tell him something nice and birthdaylike. He’s a whippersnapper. You can tell him I said that.

Personal, Podcasts, Projects, Travel

Stonecoast, Manic Mondays, and more

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 15:58 — 14.6MB)

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OK, there’s no more. I just like things in threes.

  • I’m heading to Stonecoast today, which means I’ll be away from social media, blogging, and podcasting for over ten days. Shambling Guide eps will go up, and I’ll try to get some completed ISBWs up.
  • Also, I recently guest hosted one of my favorite podcasts, Manic Mondays, a short funny music podcast. (It’s NSFW.) My DJ dreams continue, and Clear Channel’s THE MAN can’t stop me!
  • In two weeks I turn 40. Yikes.
Personal

Through Dangers Untold and Hardships Unnumbered

I’ll just lay it out. I’m a coward. I’m an angry feminist and the latest bullshit with members of SFWA trying to silence people who stand up against sexism and racism makes me very angry. But I’m also a coward. I’m not good at arguing and I don’t thrive on debate. I feared the letters, the rape threats, the abuse. I have been apologizing to the women who came before me, and fought before me. I felt that I would have made a shitty suffragette, I’d be something closer to a suffrascooter. But I kept silent.

I’m finally done. I had an epiphany this morning and decided to finally talk about it. And I’m going to do it in the spirit of Jim Henson’s The Labyrinth. Also taking a bit of creative license, since the movie wasn’t about racism and sexism.

But it was about power.

SO! This is young Mur, learning about SFF, learning what the Hugo was. Wanting to be part of it, before I even knew what fandom was, what conventions were. I had the dream.

Fantasymarchen

After all, science fiction and fantasy is the genre of inclusiveness, right? The genre of the ostracized nerds, and since we know what it’s like to be ostracized, we welcome anyone!

labyrinth-o

I was even feeling good about the state of the genre. In the past few years, more women and more people of color were making the ballots. People like Paul Cornell started to fight for gender parity on convention panels, giving up their seat to a woman in the same industry who was not invited.

But then, of course, the problems started with an unapologetic racist misogynist ran for president of SFWA. He lost in a landslide but still got 46 votes. I’m stunned that 46 (well, 45, I guess, since he probably voted for himself) people felt a giant step toward bigotry was the best way to go for the professional organization.

During this time, the SFWA Bulletin ran three questionable issues. One allowed two men to talk about “lady writers and editors,” reminiscing about which ones were hot. Then the cover of the Bulletin ran a chainmail bikini woman on the cover.* Then the two men responded to the criticisms of their first column by running another column about censoring feminist liberal nazis.

People have said it before, and better than I have, but

  1. Free speech means the government can’t censor you. A magazine editor, a blog owner, a forum moderator, certainly has say over what goes on/in their medium. People who consume such media have the right to call you out on your offensive positions.
  2. Free speech doesn’t mean people can’t call you out for being a bigot or asshole. Just as you had the free speech to say that women should be like Barbie, I have the free speech to call you a dick.

*(Yeah, I know chainmail bikini is a staple in fantasy – well, fantasy from the 1970s – and is still considered pretty sexist. The deal is, when/if a book comes out with that cover, I have the choice not to buy it, voting with my dollars. With the Bulletin, my dues are going toward this. I’ve already paid for it, like it or not.)

So as women started standing up for this, the attacks came (a lot of awesome men stood up too, and as I understand it, are not getting abused as much, but they are called things like “pinkshirts” and “gamma bunnies” which John Scalzi has embraced totally). Their opinions didn’t matter because they weren’t as well published as others. Or they shouldn’t come in trying to change an organization that was doing just fine before they arrived, thank you very much. And I started to feel

tumblr_m25fd6bz8g1qkgmnu

Then NK Jemisin gave an amazing GoH speech at an Australian con, and posted her speech online. Said loser of the SFWA presidency went on a horrific rant that was blatantly racist and sexist. Then he abused the SFWA Twitter account by releasing his blog post over the official twitter account, sending his racist vomit to all who are interested in SFWA writers. Amal El-Mohtar called for his removal from the organization. Now the same old guard are digging in their heels.

move-stars

Amid this all, I’m watching this and hating the whole thing.

scared

and

labyrinth-o (1)

And as I think about how I wanted my career to go, in the terms of being a pro and getting involved with the community, I felt

goblin-changing-arrow-o

Through it all, I’m constantly amazed by the violent reaction to the idea that you should not treat people badly. (And that you have the right to decide what “badly” is – when a whole group of people are calling you out for bigotry, the obvious result doesn’t seem to be “nuh uh!”) I don’t think it’s that much that I be treated fairly, not “othered” by the term “lady” as Seanan McGuire puts it here, and not having my opinions judged by my plumbing. But apparently women not wanting to be harassed at a convention, not suggested to be Barbie, not calling people of color “savages,” and not crying about your right to be a bigoted asshole with no one calling you on it is

exhausted

I was despairing. I was seeing women and men with much better debate skills bang their heads on this wall, feeling I could never help them, that I would get in the way. And, frankly, I was afraid. I still am. But you know, here comes the epiphany I had this morning:

power

Their silencing tactics are the oldest trick in the book. And it was working on me. Calling names, threatening, telling people their voice simply doesn’t matter. It’s the bully tactic, the puffing up of feathers, toddlers screaming in a tantrum, that they are using.

Can they actually hurt me? Maybe. There is a reason we are fighting – to feel safe at conventions, to be respected as equals, to have our work judged based on the work and not our race, gender, sexuality, or any of the other reasons people dismiss us. But the weapons against us are becoming increasingly primitive. Mean emails? Nasty names? Threats? SMOFs won’t invite me as a guest to conventions? Those tactics are the wail of a dying breed, the last resorts of people desperate for things not to change, as the change is about to roll over them. If we really didn’t matter, they wouldn’t notice us. They notice. And they’re scared. There are an awful lot of us who believe that people shouldn’t be bigots.

And the bigots have no power over us. As long as we keep fighting for what is right.

labyrinth-jareth-defeat-o








 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Personal

On me, as of late

Hey guys, sorry you haven’t seen me around much except for the regular postings of Shambling Guide. I had the feeling of Life Tsunami hit, and it forced a bit of a depression on me and haven’t felt up to recording lately. I’m finally coming out of it, and figured I’d fill you in on what’s up.

My husband is doing much better, thanks all who asked. Four weeks ago he was hit by a car on his bike. On one hand, it could have been SO MUCH WORSE than it was. He was very lucky. On the other hand, he still broke his collarbone, fractured his elbow, and got road rash. So the past four weeks have been focused on him, his recovery, and the fact that he can’t drive. Doc visits today place him as healing fast, so that’s a happy thing. I told him he had mutant healing power like Wolverine, only slower.

The book The Shambling Guide to New York City is doing well, as far as I can figure. I don’t have numbers for any other book to compare the bookscan numbers to, but the editor is happy, the reviews are all great, and I got some NPR love in the form of a one-minute review from Cory Doctorow on The World show, which was just awesome.

I’m about done with my Torment novella. If you followed the Kickstarter campaign, you may have noticed one of the stretch goals was a novella written by me. That’s due this month, and I’m on track, thanks to…

…the MAGIC SPREADSHEET. Yes, I’m still in this cult, and about to hit 200 days. More on that later.

Stonecoast residency next month. I’ve finished 3rd semester, so that’s a relief. This fall I work on my thesis. I’ll be writing something new, I think. We’ll see.

RANT TIME!

I am not going to go see Man of Steel. I’ve never been one of the huge movie fans, gotta see stuff on huge screen, opening weekend or else the film will degrade, etc, but this, I think, speaks to something larger that has been bugging me. We’re told to write our passions, we’re told to write what scares us, we’re told to write the unique story only we can tell. And then what does media give us? Another Dresden book. Another Sookie book. Another Wheel of Time book. Another Spider-Man reboot. Another Superman reboot. Hangover 3. Star Trek reboot movie II. Fast and the Furious VI. Final Fantasy XIII, another Mario game, another Uncharted game, another Bioshock game.

And dont get me wrong, I like a lot of those things too. Some of them are damn good, and some of them I actively look forward to. (Another Dragon Age game? Sign me up!) And hell, if I can make Shambling Guide stick as a series, I’ll be writing that as long as I can. It doesn’t bother me that that sequels and reboots exist, my problem is it seems these kinds of media are THE MAJORITY of what we are getting. A new game that’s not a third person shooter of some sort? A fantasy book that’s not political intrigue and rape featuring The Chosen One? A summer blockbuster that doesn’t ride on the heels of last year’s blockbuster?

I feel like people who complain about the lack of healthy food when you travel. When healthy food is offered next to fast food, you know where people are going to go. I’m totally guilty of this. People go for the comfortable, the easy, the familiar, all the while saying they want something new and exciting. The market follows what people do, not what they say.

So with Man of Steel, I’m doing. I’m not voting for another reboot with my dollars, not with Wonder Woman in production hell (is it on or off again? It’s like a bad relationship at this point.) Not with people claiming women stars can’t carry a movie (except when they can – those times don’t count, naturally.) Not with so many superheroes out there and Hollywood suckling constantly at the teat of SupermanBatmanSpider-Man.

(And please don’t cherry-pick in order to prove me wrong, I know that there ARE original media coming out, and I know that The Avengers is Thor’s gift to Hollywood. I’m not saying the above are absolutes, but they ARE dominant, you can’t deny that.)

Rant over. I’ve got a sinus headache that’s making me hate life. So watch my new favorite song. This is so NSFW. Seriously.

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